In all honesty english class got me thinking,thinking about my future,our future.do we have a future together? Hmm .. also the fact that you quit swim. I thought you were joining for us. Guess I don’t matter. But unlike you I like to do things for you. I became track manager for you. But for what? See I do things for you always and I feel I never get things in return. Not saying I need things, but sometimes I feel I put more effort into being with you then you do sometimes. Are we growing apart,are we get annoyed of each other? Or is it just me ..
7 month anniversary
Sure only 7 months no big thing, but we had plans and you got to hang with your boys last night .. I’m not selfish, I just think about how you said if we made plans the day is for us,not for us and your boys. Nice to know we’re now spending our cute day with your boys. Idunno why I’m mad .. it’s just I guess the fact that you changed our plans .. ugh lame :/ I don’t wanna be a bitch so I’ll fake a smile to keep you happy, not like I haven’t done it before ..
I feel I am slowly giving up in life. Like what is there to live for? I honestly don’t find the happiness in life anymore. The only thing or more like person keeping me happy is my boyfriend. The thing is, I don’t want to have to rely on him for everything. Yes he makes me happy and when I’m with him nothing else matters, but how long will that last before I start wrecking that too? I always mess things up. I really wanna be happy, but I don’t know how to stay happy. I just wish I could run away sometimes. Not like it would matter to those I leave behind ..
Just cause we argued when you were here with me doesn’t mean I won’t miss you .. I do and the hardest thing to accept is that you might not miss me. Do you? Or are you better off with your new life without me?it makes me wonder, it truly does ..
I don’t understand why I went from being so happy to sad today .. I really wanna hangout with you today and even though we can’t it seems like you don’t care. Do you even care? 6 months together wow,yes <3 but at the same time why am I getting more freedom when you’re being more kept in? This sucks and seriously I don’t even know how to feel. Maybe I’m over reacting, then again I’ve been told I do ..
